Ten ways to get rid of negative regrets about past mistakes

الشعور المفرط بالذنب Excessive guilt

Written by Shahar Sherif

Life coach and marital relationship consultant. I studied coaching in one of the best American INLP centers, and I am currently lecturing in the same center for Arabic-speaking students.

28 July، 2021

Have you ever regretted some of your decisions in the past?

Do you feel sorry for some of the negative behaviors you were committing in the past?

Depression Depressed Forlorn  - johnhain / Pixabay

Have you ever had a relationship of friendship, love, or marriage that you wished was a bad dream and did not happen in reality?

So we are all the same, we made mistakes in the past, and no person does not have some behaviors, decisions, or relationships that he regretted or suffered from their negative impact on him in the present and wished they had not happened.

Still, the difference between people lies in the way the past affects them.

Hopelessness Sorrow Loneliness  - lechenie-narkomanii / Pixabay


  • Does the past control them and steal their lives, or do they learn from it?
  • Do they live the present in defiance with the past ghosts or succeed in the future?
  •  Are they blaming others, making up justifications, admitting mistakes, and bearing the consequences of their actions?
  • Do they just feel remorse, or do they change for the better and take responsibility for the change?

Blaming others or providing justifications for past actions is trivial. It may have been acceptable in the past because you were younger, less aware, and less experienced, but holding on to excuses or regrets without seeking change and reform will make you live in regret forever. It won’t make you or your life change for the better, which is called negative regret.

Black Friday Fashion Rope Tied Girl  - Лера_K / Pixabay

These are some of the effects of negative regret in the past:

1-losing ability to face the present or prepare for the future.

2- Lack of confidence in yourself or others.

3- Lack of motivation to change or to search for happiness.

4- Despair, boredom, and frustration as permanent feelings in your life resulting from feeling constant regret over what happened.

5- Became a failed person adversely turning into a burden does not benefit himself or those around him.

Because of the past, adverse decisions affected your present, whether you have harmed yourself or harmed other people with your wrong behaviors.

Feelings Reaction Angst Anxiety  - johnhain / Pixabay

Moving away from past behaviors or changing your feelings, replacing the old ideas with new positive ones, is not that easy and will not change your present or future quickly.

So do not give up or do not wait for a magic solution, but create the ideas to get rid of negative regrets.

Here are some of the inspiring ideas for you:

1- Accept the past, make peace with yourself and your mistakes and be aware of that past, not your destiny.

2-Be patient with yourself and do not criticize it. Instead, understand the basis of the problem and identify the reasons.

3- Learn from negative past experiences. Recognize the importance of your past and its impact on you now.

Hands Fence White Wood Holding  - 5671698 / Pixabay

4- Acknowledge your painful feelings and allow yourself to feel them and their influence on your behavior so that you do not return to them again.

5- Avoid going back to the negatives and mistakes of the past and set a strict system for yourself so that you do not regret it again.

6- Apologies for the harm you may have caused to others. Accept their blame, and ask for their forgiveness.

7- Forgive yourself and forgive them because we all make mistakes.

8- Do not abandon responsibility for your actions, do not run away from your mistakes, as running away will not change the reality of its occurrence or its impact on you.

9- Seize any opportunity to correct any adverse outcome of the past.

10- Surround yourself with loyal people who will help you in the transitional stage.


Do not care about your opinions or what people see in the past.

Man Game Controller Happy Cheerful  - FireFX / Pixabay

Pay attention to the reasons that led to this tragic past; understand why this was the way you thought and behaved in the past and the motives behind this. Then, make an effort, be patient, and overcome the fear of change to live a new successful life.

15 ideas for striving for a better future:

1- Be aware that you have a responsibility for yourself now, and it does not matter what happened to you in the past or who was responsible for it.

2- If the past harmed the ones you love, try to compensate them for the inconvenience they experienced because of you.

Man Drink Winter Snow Guy  - Iamfranklifestyle / Pixabay

3-Write your memoirs and express your feelings or thoughts to accept your experiences, learn from them, and know that your past is what made you.

 4- Be aware that you are not the same person you were in the past.

5– Deal with your life daily in the beginning and do not make long-term plans to avoid frustration.

6- Set realistic goals for yourself with a time plan, stay away from excuses, and commit yourself to specific behaviors to implement them.

7- Set one goal for each stage and break the goal into small steps to feel the accomplishments.

8- Get rid of the annoying people in your life and surround yourself with the positive only.

Woman Happy Freedom Sunglasses  - Abbat1 / Pixabay

9- Be prepared for the consequences of change and continue to prove the change to yourself and others.

10- Put alternative solutions to any situations that you may encounter in the future that is similar to the past to avoid returning to any negative behavior.

11- Establish new habits and a new routine in your life to replace everything negative with positive.

12- Think carefully about the impact of your current decisions on the future and learn from your past choices.

13-Make sure to keep everything that makes you progress for reform in the environment around you.

14- Be confident in yourself and constantly motivate yourself for positive change.

15- Ask a Life Coach if necessary to help you overcome this problem and live your success and happiness in the present and the future.

Remember that you will not be able to change the past and not return with everything in it.

Still, you can change the way you think about it, and also, you can change your present and future if you learn from him and make the negatives of his experiences an incentive to help you face the challenges of life.

In the end, you are who decides the quality of past experiences in your life, and you are who sets the endpoint for these mistakes, and you are who sets the beginning to reform your life and achieve your goals.

If you suffer from negative regret for your life?  Contact us to work together.



Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS . Tordy Griffin is a certified psychologist in Wisconsin, USA. She received her Master of Science in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.


Sources and references

      • ^ games, n. (1973). Competence and Adjustment in Childhood Schizophrenia Patients and at-Risk Adults, pp. 163-204 in Dean, SR (Editor), Available here.Schizophrenia: Top Ten Prize Lectures. New York: MSS Information Corp.

      • جارميز ص ، ن. ستريتمان ، س. (1974). “الأطفال المعرضون للخطر: البحث عن أسلاف الفصام. الجزء 1. النماذج المفاهيمية وأساليب البحث. ” نشرة الفصام . 1 (8): 14-90. أنهم : 10.1093 / ثقب الشوري / البث 4619494 .

      • ^ Werner, E.; (1971).Kawai Children: A Longitudinal Study from Prenatal to Age Ten. Honolulu: University of Hawaii Press, ISBN978-0870228609.

      • ^ Werner, E.; (1989).Vulnerable but indomitable: a longitudinal study of resilient children and youth. New York: McGraw-Hill, ISBN0937431036

    ^ Masten, A.; Better, K.M.; Garmezi, N.; (1990).Resilience and development: Contributions from a study of children who overcome adversity.Outcome and Psychopathology.2 (4): 425-444

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