What is lack of self-love and how to get rid of it.

What is lack of Self-love and how to get rid of that feeling.

mental resilience and psychological resilience

Written by Shahar Sherif

Life coach and marital relationship consultant.

Psychological and mental resilience is a degree of psychological maturity that makes you appropriately respond to life’s challenges to deal with them. It includes realizing how and when to act according to your surroundings and abilities in every life condition. Correct emotional and intellectual decisions and behaviors, and search for solutions to overcome these crises or adapt to them differently and positively instead of despairing, frustrated, and surrendering to those difficult circumstances. Adaptation means not accepting uncomfortable or unacceptable situations from others. Instead, it makes a conscious psychological and mental effort to solve a problem or contains a situation to reduce the stress and anxiety associated with it and to think effectively to reach the best possible solutions. Because psychological resilience is a state of maturity, it is not a quality a person is born with but rather a quality. Any average person can acquire and develop it because it is not a superpower or a rarity. It is an individual behavior that requires only the individual’s awareness of his psychological capabilities…The lack of mental and psychological resilience makes the individual explode in negative emotions and unable to deal with the mechanisms of life effectively.

Behaviors of people who lack mental resilience and psychological flexibility.

  •  Excessive thinking about problems in a way that makes them feel that they are victims of complex and disturbing events.
  •  Blaming others or circumstances and rejecting any way of coping.
  •  Resorting to unhealthy coping mechanisms such as drug or alcohol abuse.
  • Giving in to feelings of anger that distract attention and ability to work.
  •  Indulging in feelings of fear and triggering memories of past failures that remove attention, focus, and poor performance.
  •  Sadness controls their lives, spoils their mood, and weakens their resolve.
  • An exaggerated response to anxiety leads to incapacitation and inhibits the achievement of desired goals. 
  • Feeling resentment and frustration towards others impedes progress and removes motivation.
  • Feeling tired, worn out, and unable to find alternative solutions.

Unfortunately, there is a misunderstanding about mentally and psychologically resilient people, as they are sometimes described as they don’t suffer as much as others. Hence, they are optimistic regardless of the circumstances, but this is not true. What happens is that they cannot balance their negative feelings with positive ones over time and perseverance, and they acquire a method of confrontation that enables them to overcome it.

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Here are some characteristics of flexible-minded people.

  •  They rely on their inner strength which helps them remain steadfast when failing at something or facing life’s difficulties.
  •  They learn from past mistakes because it gives them a new set of experiences that will benefit them in the future in one way or another.
  • They change their priorities, behavior, and circumstances to be more realistic in proportion to the current situation.
  • They always have alternative plans and strategies to adapt or deal with life challenges differently and take the necessary steps to follow up.
  • They have communication and problem-solving skills and are confident in their abilities and strengths.
  • They manage their overwhelming feelings and ulterior motives.
  • They recover from traumatic experiences and situations quickly.

So, emotional and mental resilience is a critical factor in helping individuals live in a way free of vulnerabilities and chronic diseases that may occur due to the impact of negative emotions. This is what doctors and researchers have come up with over the years “The most powerful and best way to combat anxiety and consistently build mental resilience and strength throughout life”.

In the following points, there are exercises to achieve cognitive flexibility.

1-Visualize positive results.

At the beginning or end of each new day, think about all the small and large situations in your life, and then ask yourself “Will I be able to get a good rating”?

The most optimistic and joyful outcome of these situations is to imagine good work and the best possible result. It’s not about setting you up for significant disappointment. Instead, it helps strengthen and enhance your ability to anticipate positive influences and allows you to come up with great, unique, and creative ideas to make your dreams come true.

2-Try something new.

In today’s age, it is easier than ever to enroll in new online courses, join sports clubs, or participate in virtual events. The idea here is that it can stimulate your mind and body to try many new things you haven’t tried. It doesn’t have to be a stressful exercise or experience. However, it can be an innovative and unique experience just slightly above your current level or out of your comfort zone.

3- Practice positive self-tweeting.

Significantly, by remembering positive things, the idea is to motivate yourself at the start of your day. Think about what your biggest supporter whether parents, partner, friend, or teacher, might tell you, and then say this in your mind.

4-Immersive in nature.

Spending time in nature has a positive effect on mental health. Science has repeatedly shown that activities such as natural meditation can strengthen and enhance mental resilience.

Breathe deeply, relax, and use your senses to increase awareness of the natural world. It supports you psychologically and exercises emotional flexibility in your life. It is restoring energy and restoring balance to your being.

5- Turn anxiety into progress.

It’s important to understand that having a flexible mindset helps us to be resilient during tough times. It teaches us how to stay calm, reassess situations, change our perspective, and make smart decisions. It’s beneficial to remind ourselves that anxiety doesn’t always have to be negative.

After all, Mental flexibility does not solve your problems; However, it gives you the superpower to overcome them. And enjoy life and deal better with the pressures of life.

If you are experiencing a lack of mental or psychological resilience and it is negatively affecting your life and need help, contact us to work together.

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Sources and references.


Sources and references

      • ^ games, n. (1973). Competence and Adjustment in Childhood Schizophrenia Patients and at-Risk Adults, pp. 163-204 in Dean, SR (Editor), Available here.Schizophrenia: Top Ten Prize Lectures. New York: MSS Information Corp.

      • جارميز ص ، ن. ستريتمان ، س. (1974). “الأطفال المعرضون للخطر: البحث عن أسلاف الفصام. الجزء 1. النماذج المفاهيمية وأساليب البحث. ” نشرة الفصام . 1 (8): 14-90. أنهم : 10.1093 / ثقب الشوري / البث 4619494 .

      • ^ Werner, E.; (1971).Kawai Children: A Longitudinal Study from Prenatal to Age Ten. Honolulu: University of Hawaii Press, ISBN978-0870228609.

      • ^ Werner, E.; (1989).Vulnerable but indomitable: a longitudinal study of resilient children and youth. New York: McGraw-Hill, ISBN0937431036

    ^ Masten, A.; Better, K.M.; Garmezi, N.; (1990).Resilience and development: Contributions from a study of children who overcome adversity.Outcome and Psychopathology.2 (4): 425-444

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