What is lack of self-love and how to get rid of it.

What is lack of Self-love and how to get rid of that feeling.

disappearance of love after marriage اختفاء الحب بعد الزواج
shaharsherifcoaching.

Written by Shahar Sherif

Life coach and marital relationship consultant.

Many couples wonder why love disappears after marriage. The love becomes a mountain between the spouses, even in marriages that begin with a romantic love story. This is often due to a lack of awareness of the difference between love before and after marriage.

Love before marriage

The feeling of happiness and expressing gratitude for each other’s presence in life. Satisfaction with the relationship with the partner mixed with feelings of sexual desire and intimacy. A deep longing in the heart and genuine affection. It’s beautiful to marry the person you love, but maintaining that love requires a lot of effort throughout married life.

Love after marriage

Love evolves into deeper and more intimate forms such as compassion, friendliness, acceptance, and care, which promise stability and safety in life. Love embodies positive values that inspire good communication and prompt us to overlook our dislikes while recognizing that our partner deserves our sacrifices and our efforts. After marriage, love is cultivated through awareness and maturity, which help us become conscious of our behaviors and nurture our desire for happiness.

Some signs of the disappearance of love after marriage.

 The delusional reasons..

  1. Some hereditary cultures, such as marriage, are the cemeteries of love.
  2. After childbearing and increasing responsibilities, love disappears.
  3. The effect of cinematic drama and media in instilling an exaggerated or distorted concept of marital life.
  4. The disappearance of love as soon as you leave celibacy and move to marriage.
  5. Marriage is a bond that steals freedom or kills love.
  6. Misconception of one or both spouses that the feelings of initial love remain the same after marriage.
  7. Spouses’ fantasies that a partner is a perfect person without defects.
  8. imagine complete happiness will be born, determined by the wedding, and will remain forever a honeymoon.

The real reasons

Boy Girl Relationship Emotions Sad  - HaticeEROL / Pixabay
  1. The absence of true love from the beginning with no distinction between love, admiration, or temporary amazement.
  2. Rushing in the decision to marry due to fear of remaining unmarried or feeling lonely.
  3. The main goal of marriage is to have children or meet biological needs without concern for the feelings between the spouses.
  4. The impossible expectations, whether financial or emotional, that spouses carry to their homes.
  5. Ignoring the importance of parity between spouses while imagining that love alone can transcend the difference of ideas, culture, or lifestyles.
  6. Lack of interest in love and putting it under routine, money, or habituation.
  7. The negative impact on the spouses is due to their worries and the problems and the lack of tranquility between them.
  8. Deliberate wrong behavior by one or both spouses, such as lying, betrayal, insulting, and stinginess.
  9. Underestimating the spouses to each other by making mistakes and constant criticism.
  10. Lack of privacy between spouses and disclosure of their privacy to others.


In the end, we must acknowledge that love and romance between spouses is a legitimate and inevitable right. Seeking it requires the desire and will of both spouses. We realize that its survival in our life as a couple requires sincerity, confidence, and persistence in good behavior. It also requires patience and wisdom to overcome life’s challenges and keep love eternal and deep between us as a couple. Life is worth it, but above all, you deserve a happy life. If you miss the feelings of love or romance in your marriage and you want to live happily with your partner, it’s important to work on nurturing these aspects of your relationship.

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Sources and references

      • ^ games, n. (1973). Competence and Adjustment in Childhood Schizophrenia Patients and at-Risk Adults, pp. 163-204 in Dean, SR (Editor), Available here.Schizophrenia: Top Ten Prize Lectures. New York: MSS Information Corp.

      • جارميز ص ، ن. ستريتمان ، س. (1974). “الأطفال المعرضون للخطر: البحث عن أسلاف الفصام. الجزء 1. النماذج المفاهيمية وأساليب البحث. ” نشرة الفصام . 1 (8): 14-90. أنهم : 10.1093 / ثقب الشوري / 1.8.14.0. البث 4619494 .

      • ^ Werner, E.; (1971).Kawai Children: A Longitudinal Study from Prenatal to Age Ten. Honolulu: University of Hawaii Press, ISBN978-0870228609.

      • ^ Werner, E.; (1989).Vulnerable but indomitable: a longitudinal study of resilient children and youth. New York: McGraw-Hill, ISBN0937431036

    ^ Masten, A.; Better, K.M.; Garmezi, N.; (1990).Resilience and development: Contributions from a study of children who overcome adversity.Outcome and Psychopathology.2 (4): 425-444

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