What is lack of self-love and how to get rid of it.

What is lack of Self-love and how to get rid of that feeling.

الرقابة الأبوية على الأطفال overprotective parent
shaharsherifcoaching.

Written by Shahar Sherif

Life coach and marital relationship consultant.

Caricature Painting Fantasy  - 愚木混株CDD20 / Pixabay

As parents, we love our children unconditionally and are willing to make sacrifices to ensure they have a better life than ours. Our love for our kids is combined with responsibility, care, kindness, guidance, and discipline. However, raising children is one of the most challenging tasks, and its success depends on various factors, including genetic inheritance and environmental influences. Despite these factors, parents’ care for their children undeniably plays a primary role in their development. Some parents tend to be overprotective, believing that shielding their children from danger and suffering is the best approach. Unfortunately, this overprotective behavior can make children anxious and less resilient, potentially putting their well-being at risk. Therefore, it’s important to be aware of and avoid these overprotective behaviors.

Some behaviors of overprotective parents

Cartoon Drawing Manga Comic  - 愚木混株CDD20 / Pixabay
  • They exaggerate the protection of their children, which sometimes leads to a lack of respect for their privacy.
  • Preventing their children from taking adventures, experiments, or acquiring new experiences in their lives.
  • Not allowing their children to be independent.
  • Lack of confidence in their children’s choices.
  • Constant criticism using degrading phrases when raising them.
  • Pushing children to feel ashamed.
  •  Limiting the abilities of children and introducing them to subservience and surrender.
  • They always shout in the faces of their children.
  • Obsession with grades of achievement without paying attention to the efforts made by their children.

As a result of this, overprotection the children feel negative feelings about themselves and their parents. These feelings result in several negative behaviors that affect their personalities and their relationships with others.

How does being overprotective affect your child?

Individuals struggling with these issues often miss feeling happy and grateful towards their parents, while also grappling with an inability to excel in their studies compared to their peers. This psychological and emotional immaturity manifests in their being less prevalent in school communities among their peers. The presence of deep psychological wounds also prevents them from maturing in the future, leading to feelings of depression and a lack of self-esteem. As a result, they lack leadership skills and become followers of others, feeling angry and dissatisfied with their parents. In an attempt to prove their freedom, they may act recklessly, foolishly, and perhaps even dangerously, all while trying to stay away psychologically from their parents.

How to stop being overprotective.

  • Allow them to make their own decisions appropriate to their age and experience.
  • Give them responsibilities so that they are not always dependable.
  • Be the ideal teacher for your child always be far-sighted do not think with the mentality of the current situation, and do not look to your children for quick solutions.
  • Accept your child’s mistakes because failure teaches more than success, then help them learn from it.
  • Clarify the consequences of wrong actions and their results without losing the tone of friendliness.
  • Be keen to communicate socially with your children to feel support and family bonding.
  • Be realistic and merciful with them if they make a mistake. Make your punishment for them appropriate to the kind of mistake.
  • Balance their upbringing, be strict or lenient, and give your children love affection, and positive feelings.
  • Maintain a healthy environment to communicate away from stress and pressures. And base your relationship with your children on love and respect, not on fear.
  • Give your child part of the household responsibilities to feel responsible and work as a team.
  • Make sure to separate their expenses from you and the performance of their household responsibilities.
  • Motivate and raise the level of expectations of their successes.
  • Teach your child to deal with anger, manage conflicts, and delay desires so that they can face life’s challenges.
  • Teach your children the skill of relationships and individuality and teach them to empathize with and help others.
  • Know what they like or dislike and the strengths and weaknesses of your children.
  • Clarify the consequences of wrong actions and their results without losing the tone of friendliness with them.
  • Be fair and just among your children so that they respect you and do not differentiate between them in treatment so that they do not hate and hold grudges against themselves or others.
  • Give your children a realistic chance of failure to learn from it and encourage them to stick to goals, even if they are difficult.

In the end, we must understand that the role of parents is to reduce the risks that children may face, not to prevent or eliminate them. None of us, including overprotective parents, will live forever to protect our children, so it’s important not to give too much advice or orders, but to allow them to choose their paths in life without interference. Keep a watchful eye from a distance. If they need your help, continue to support and encourage them. Your children may share your traits, but they are different individuals and not extensions of you. They have their passions and goals and cannot simply follow in your footsteps. However, they can benefit from your love and experiences. The best way to prepare them for life’s challenges is to give them the freedom and independence to succeed on their own. Don’t let your overprotective nature become a barrier to their success and happiness.

 

Sources and references

      • ^ games, n. (1973). Competence and Adjustment in Childhood Schizophrenia Patients and at-Risk Adults, pp. 163-204 in Dean, SR (Editor), Available here.Schizophrenia: Top Ten Prize Lectures. New York: MSS Information Corp.

      • جارميز ص ، ن. ستريتمان ، س. (1974). “الأطفال المعرضون للخطر: البحث عن أسلاف الفصام. الجزء 1. النماذج المفاهيمية وأساليب البحث. ” نشرة الفصام . 1 (8): 14-90. أنهم : 10.1093 / ثقب الشوري / 1.8.14.0. البث 4619494 .

      • ^ Werner, E.; (1971).Kawai Children: A Longitudinal Study from Prenatal to Age Ten. Honolulu: University of Hawaii Press, ISBN978-0870228609.

      • ^ Werner, E.; (1989).Vulnerable but indomitable: a longitudinal study of resilient children and youth. New York: McGraw-Hill, ISBN0937431036

    ^ Masten, A.; Better, K.M.; Garmezi, N.; (1990).Resilience and development: Contributions from a study of children who overcome adversity.Outcome and Psychopathology.2 (4): 425-444

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