Signs of dependent relationship and 10 ways to avoid it.

التبعية في العلاقات dependent relationship
shaharsherifcoaching.

Written by Shahar Sherif

Life coach and marital relationship consultant. I studied coaching in one of the best American INLP centers, and I am currently lecturing in the same center for Arabic-speaking students.

5 August، 2021

A dependent relationship is a dysfunctional relationship in which one person is entirely responsible and custodian of the other without the beneficiary doing anything in return.

It is a relationship that forces the responsible party to completely abandon his desires and needs to take care of him and meet the wishes of the other party or the one who is caring for him. 

Often this type of relationship encapsulates insecurity and unhappiness because the responsible person feels stress from the many responsibilities, and the dependent partner feels insecure for not providing anything in this relationship.

In this relationship, there is no participation in the practical, realistic sense. Usually, it is a stressful relationship that exhausts all energy and positivity of the partner.

Puppet Doll Man Controlled Master  - mohamed_hassan / Pixabay

So,

Suppose marriage or a relationship turns into a dependency relationship; it will never be healthy or long-term.

The dependence makes mutual negative feelings, such as need, exploitation, control, and selfishness, a relationship base.

Whether you are the responsible partner or the dependent partner, Your partner will evaluate your needs and satisfaction, and you will lose yourself. 

Therefore, we will clarify the signs of a dependent relationship in both cases, whether you are the responsible or dependent partner.

The signs of a dependent relationship:

First, in case you are a responsible partner:

Man Headache Frustration Frustrated  - Sammy-Williams / Pixabay

1- Giving is only on your part.

2- Full responsibility for everything related to the partner and his dependence on you.

3- Only you are the party that cares

4- Compromises are always yours.

5- Always pay the price for stability in the relationship.

6- The partner does not care about your needs

7- Constant criticism and dissatisfaction of the partner with you

8- Unwillingness and ability to give to feel exhausted.

9 Betrayal of the partner’s lack of interest or appreciation for you.

10- Feeling taken advantage of by the partner or not appreciating what you are doing.

Second, if you are the dependent partner:

Handcuffs Prisoners Woman Female  - KlausHausmann / Pixabay

1 – Your feeling of low value in the relationship and that you are below the level and contribution.

2- Boredom and lack of desire for the partner and a sense of control and control from him

3- The constant feeling of loneliness because there is no actual mutual participation.

4- Not feeling loved by your partner and staying in emotional deprivation.

5-Permanent forgiveness of the partner and acceptance of his immaturity due to the feeling of dependence.

 6- Not being able to say no.

7- The lack of self-features and your melting in the reliance of the partner.

8- Inability to express your desires and needs.

9-You always feel the need to make the other party happy, even at the expense of your happiness.

10- Life turns into reactions and acceptance of what the partner does, not a will.

Therefore,

The feelings of the two partners are stressful in the relationship because there are no healthy boundaries between them and ineffective communication. After all, it is a one-way relationship, so both are losers and dissatisfied with their lives.

We naturally want all our loved ones to be happy, but it should be without having to please them all the time or control them either.

There is no doubt that communication between the two partners strengthens the relationship and that successful healthy relationships have distinctive signs.

Among the most important are mutual love, respect, sacrifice, compromise, and sharing responsibilities.

Now here’s how to avoid a dependency relationship:

Luck Pair Happy Couple Emotion  - InstagramFOTOGRAFIN / Pixabay

1- Distinguishing between typical desires to make those you love happy and always striving to please them

2- Respect the boundaries in the relationship and not allow manipulation or control by any partner.

3- Independence in the desires and ambitions of each party.

4- Communicate with your wants and dreams and be proactive in achieving them.

5- Acting of your own free will and responsibility towards yourself and a partner.

6- Do not tie your happiness or identity to the satisfaction of others or your ability to make them happy.

7- Don’t be defensive all the time, and don’t respond to constant criticism from your partner.

8- Distinguish the difference between participation in the relationship and dependence in the relationship.

9- Realizing that you are not responsible for the happiness of the one you love, nor is he responsible for your pleasure.

10-Respect your self-image and get out of the negative internal association with the partner.

In the end,

Result Excuse Me Failure  - geralt / Pixabay

A healthy relationship does not consist in the exchange of interests, the exploitation of one party to the other, or selfishness and the control of one person over the other. Still, it is by showing love, respect for freedom, and a balance between happiness, independence, and positive participation.

If you are a partner in a dependency relationship or suffer from its negative impact, contact us to work together.

Call us now

Reference: INLP center

 

 

 

Sources and references

      • ^ games, n. (1973). Competence and Adjustment in Childhood Schizophrenia Patients and at-Risk Adults, pp. 163-204 in Dean, SR (Editor), Available here.Schizophrenia: Top Ten Prize Lectures. New York: MSS Information Corp.

      • جارميز ص ، ن. ستريتمان ، س. (1974). “الأطفال المعرضون للخطر: البحث عن أسلاف الفصام. الجزء 1. النماذج المفاهيمية وأساليب البحث. ” نشرة الفصام . 1 (8): 14-90. أنهم : 10.1093 / ثقب الشوري / 1.8.14.0. البث 4619494 .

      • ^ Werner, E.; (1971).Kawai Children: A Longitudinal Study from Prenatal to Age Ten. Honolulu: University of Hawaii Press, ISBN978-0870228609.

      • ^ Werner, E.; (1989).Vulnerable but indomitable: a longitudinal study of resilient children and youth. New York: McGraw-Hill, ISBN0937431036

    ^ Masten, A.; Better, K.M.; Garmezi, N.; (1990).Resilience and development: Contributions from a study of children who overcome adversity.Outcome and Psychopathology.2 (4): 425-444

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