Ideal Dad: 20 Behaviors After Divorce

Ideal dad's behavior after divorce

Written by Shahar Sherif

Life coach and marital relationship consultant. I studied coaching in one of the best American INLP centers, and I am currently lecturing in the same center for Arabic-speaking students.

21 April، 2021

Divorce with the presence of children is one of the decisions that need wisdom and awareness to be dealt with in the best possible way to preserve the happiness and success of your children as a conscious and successful decision for you even if the marriage fails.

Losing the marriage and many years in your life is enough.

Regardless of the reasons for the divorce, it is ultimately a loss.

To avoid  losing your actual relationship with your children after the divorce,

Here are 20 behaviors that make you an ideal dad after a divorce.

1. Maintain a good relationship with your ex-wife.

  The lack of success in marriage does not mean that after the divorce, dealing with their mother with revenge, defiance, or hatred.

2. Do not deal with your children from within your negative feelings towards your ex-wife.

Do not punish your ex-wife by abusing your children. They are not a reason for your decision. It is enough for them to lose the whole family relationship.

3. Do not harm your children with their mother by talking about her nasty words.

 Make sure to respect her in front of them; of course, she is no longer your wife, but she will forever remain the mother of your children.

4. Do not share your marital problems with your children.

Do not offer them or ask for advice from them, keep your status and authority as a father, do not appear in front of them underage or defeated, and explain to them that divorce is not the end of the family.

5. Enhance your children’s sense of security in your relationship with them

The relationship between the father and his children is an eternal one. Nothing changes, and there is no substitute for the father in the life of the children.  So, support them and ensure your love and care about their lives, identities, and their future.

Children Boy And Girl Holding Hands  - AnnaliseArt / Pixabay

6. Participated with them in their daily events.

Maintain regular contact, follow up on their studies, and exchange special events with them.

7. Be aware of their successes and failures.

Your presence in the happy times and times of failure in your children’s lives makes them feel that you are a source of support and security in their lives and a refuge that they cannot give up no matter what.

8. Make regular time to be with them.

Make your time with them interesting, valuable, and enjoyable. Go with your children for movies, dinners, watch TV, or talk about general topics, and assure them that your separation from their mother does not affect your relationship with them because they are your children anyway.

9. Do not financially support only.

Don’t be just a source of money. Be in their life as a dad. Know His duties include love, care, guidance, discipline, and advice when needed.

10. Be a role model for your children.

Children notice and feel their father’s personality against their will because you are the first and closest man in their lives, so make sure that you set a good example supporting them to become successful and righteous people in the future.

11. Present your past experiences to your children.

 Feel free to present your past experiences and experiences to your children, including their successes, failures, or feelings, because they learn through you what their personalities, ideas, and convictions are.

12.  Be a good listener.

To continue communicating with your children, make sure you hear them without judging their behavior or suppressing their dreams.  Make them feel safe knowing their secrets and theirs.

13. Share with them a skill or hobby they love.

Be involved with them in their pursuits, such as playing sports, reading, or charitable work.  These things are positive about your relationship with your children and the effect you have on them.

14. Show love and concern for your children in deeds and words.

You are undoubtedly making a lot of sacrifices for the sake of your children.  Explain this with compassionate words and actions, and don’t rely on their awareness to realize their value to you.

Father Son School Family Class  - andremsantana / Pixabay

15. Praise your children and encourage them to succeed.

Always praise your children for everything they do well and their success because kids are always waiting for parents to be satisfied with them to feel good about themselves and safe in their relationship with you.

16. Lead your children with love and firmness, without cruelty.

Don’t let your children be disciplined by anger or frustration at their mistakes.  Let them know that this stems from your long-term love and care about them so that their lives or future are not in danger, and the goal of disciplining them is education, not punishment or revenge.

17. Control the stress of your daily life.

Make sure to avoid dealing with your children through the problems you face in your life, and do not make them the platform to throw whatever bothers you or relieves your stress on them.

18. Do not ignore or belittle your children’s feelings.

Respect your children’s emotions, such as sadness or fear, and do not underestimate them, or even if they are simple, they are their true feelings. Allow yourself to be a trusted father.

19. Explore your financial capabilities for your children.

Clarifying your natural ability to your children makes them trust you and do not feel that you are falling short in their rights if they are unable to meet all their needs, and they will be grateful for the sacrifices you made for them.

20. Respect your children; do not bully them.   

Respect your children’s wishes and dreams and ambitions, not absolute control of the most crucial communication humanitarian success. They are not an extension of you, and their abilities or personalities must be respected and accepted as wisdom that is learned from you forever.

To you, Ideal dad:

To be an ideal dad to your children is not just financial support, advice or criticism, or a lot of guidance. Words remain words unless they are converted into realistic actions in the right way to lead your children to a happy life.

Father Daughter Happy Family Man  - FireFX / Pixabay

It is about your presence in their lives. So be a good friend to your children…in the second place.

 In the first place, be a perfect DAD.

If you like our blog, we are happy to share it.

Sources: Smart education


Sources and references

      • ^ games, n. (1973). Competence and Adjustment in Childhood Schizophrenia Patients and at-Risk Adults, pp. 163-204 in Dean, SR (Editor), Available here.Schizophrenia: Top Ten Prize Lectures. New York: MSS Information Corp.

      • جارميز ص ، ن. ستريتمان ، س. (1974). “الأطفال المعرضون للخطر: البحث عن أسلاف الفصام. الجزء 1. النماذج المفاهيمية وأساليب البحث. ” نشرة الفصام . 1 (8): 14-90. أنهم : 10.1093 / ثقب الشوري / البث 4619494 .

      • ^ Werner, E.; (1971).Kawai Children: A Longitudinal Study from Prenatal to Age Ten. Honolulu: University of Hawaii Press, ISBN978-0870228609.

      • ^ Werner, E.; (1989).Vulnerable but indomitable: a longitudinal study of resilient children and youth. New York: McGraw-Hill, ISBN0937431036

    ^ Masten, A.; Better, K.M.; Garmezi, N.; (1990).Resilience and development: Contributions from a study of children who overcome adversity.Outcome and Psychopathology.2 (4): 425-444

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