20 tips to get rid of self-hate


Written by Shahar Sherif

Life coach and marital relationship consultant. I studied coaching in one of the best American INLP centers, and I am currently lecturing in the same center for Arabic-speaking students.

20 October، 2021


      • Have you ever felt that loving yourself was an impossible task?

    Grief Loss Despair Woe Sorrow  - johnhain - Pixabay


        • Do you have logical reasons to hate yourself?


          • Have you ever felt unwanted no matter what you do?


            • Have you ever despaired of being able to love yourself again?

          The surprise is,

          You are not alone because self-hatred is a familiar feeling, but no one admits this feeling, and no one knows how to regain his love for himself.

          That’s why this blog is for so many people.


          Portrait Woman Girl Youth  - Engin_Akyurt- Pixabay

          Do you know what self-hate is?

          It is simply a hidden feeling that makes a person never forgive himself for any mistakes regardless of whether they are real mistakes or just misguided feelings and beliefs fueled by anger or misunderstanding that make him compare himself to others unfair comparison that is not in his favor most of the time, which makes him hate himself, and becomes a complex person or pathetic or avoidable at times.

          It results in a feeling that the person is not self-worthy to love himself and that he is not good enough to be loved by others.

          Some of the reasons for self-hatred:

          1- Exposure to some negative long-term experiences.

          2- Dysfunctional upbringing without family stability, extreme control, or neglect because children see their parents almost wholly.

          Face Faces Dialog Conversation  - geralt / Pixabay

          3- Exposure to bullying, discrimination, or toxic and harmful comparison in the surrounding society makes a person feel that something is wrong with him.

          4- The existence of the ego, which is the personal formation that separates you from the world, and under the name of vanity, you do not find anything beautiful in the world. You do not want perfection in everything, even yourself.

          Some behaviors of self-hatred:

          1 – Hatred over the success of others and the belief that one cannot reach the same success as theirs.

          2- Fear of emotional relationships because you believe that you are not worthy of love and full of flaws.

          Adult Annoyed Blur Burnout  - Pexels / Pixabay


          3- Accusing yourself of being stupid or failing because you don’t understand a question or topic.

          4- Not being able to stop thinking about what people are saying about them.

          5- Avoid talking to others to avoid criticism and resentment for their inability and desire to face any challenge and believe that it is useless.

          6- Loss of passion in life and motivation to take care of physical or mental health as if nothing is worth it.

          7- Showing artificial love for themself and others to hide the inner feeling of self-hatred.

          8- Reducing ambitions in life to avoid failure.

          9- A permanent apology for everything, even if it is trivial.

          10- The use of fierce love and negative self-stimulation increases anxiety, believing that this encourages success.

          A Question Do Not Know Doubt Well  - dadaworks / Pixabay


          11- The tendency to become addicted to drugs or even games whenever he encounters anything negative.

          12- He sees himself as a victim without a goal or as deserving of failure and frustration.

          13- Self-sabotage of his relationships for not feeling safe or trusting others.

          14- He does not control his emotions and explodes like a volcano in his anger.

          We must admit,

          The humanity of our psychological upbringing, especially in childhood, cancels theideal upbringing for all of us because every person lives with their own experiences and transmits them to their children and the surrounding community. Naturally, therefore, there may be reasons why a person hates himself at some point in his life. But this does not mean that self-hatred became the permanent, dominant feeling surrounding its owner in a cycle of frustrations, disappointments, self-doubt, hatred, and permanent depression.

          Ballerina Wall Pointe Shoes Sorrow  - nastya_gepp / Pixabay

          Do you know the effect of self-hatred on you?

          1- It makes you lose inner security and stability with yourself.

          2- They make you feel that you deserve all the bad and negative in life.

          3- It puts you in a vicious circle of inner negativity that leads you to continuous failures to justify your self-hatred.

          4-Makes you consider failure the only option for whatever you do, and you never try to improve your lives or skills.

          5- Makes you don’t trust others and always assume bad things from others.

          6- It prevents you from enjoying everything good or enjoyable because everything will come to an end.

          7- The hostile inner critic is controlling you, which makes you work against your best interest.

          Rage Smiley Trouble Emoticon  - Conmongt / Pixabay


          8-It puts you in the constant feeling of guilt, helplessness, and entitlement to loneliness
          clinging to the past.

          Sometimes self-hatred comes from an inability to distinguish between a vigilant human conscience that makes you act in the best way towards your good and an inner critic who attacks, punishes, and turns you against your interest.


          Girl Photoshoot Park Model Posing  - AnnaGerdt / Pixabay


          Regardless of the reasons or circumstances or even some wrong behavior that you may have done, everyone makes mistakes, and you cannot control everything, so there is no justification.
          Self-hatred because it is a negative feeling will not make you a successful person and will not make the world happier, quite the opposite.


          So we are going to show you some ways to get over your self-hatred:

          1- Take an honest look at yourself and accept yourself as you are.

          2- Treat yourself with love, affection, and understanding as you would your best friend.

          Lilac Spring Senses To Smell  - pics_kartub / Pixabay


          3- Don’t let your inner voice tear you apart, but let your alert conscience fix you.

          4- Deal with life logically and impartially without miserable depreciation for yourself or impossible expectations and dreams.

          5- Take care of your health, appearance, and culture, and stay away from negative people.

          6- Learn how to know your flaws and negatives as you see them reduce them, and feel inner satisfaction about yourself.

          7- Spend some time alone to get to know yourself and restore your self-confidence.

          8- Forgive yourself for your past mistakes to find the motivation to move forward in the future, the past is over.

          Sun Beach Ocean Sea Holiday  - Xinthia / Pixabay


          9- Learn to say no to others if your desire to please them is your interest or physical and psychological comfort.

          10- Remember your previous achievements, no matter how small, to incentivize your new accomplishments.

          11- Be grateful for the blessing you have that distinguishes you from others.

          12-Stop is comparing yourself to others. Compare yourself today with what you want to be in the future.

          13- Set challenging but achievable ambitions that suit your abilities and learn from failure, and don’t be afraid of it.

          14-Do what you love to build your life and let the desire for success support you.

          15- Learn to stand up for yourself and show your efforts instead of apologizing for the mistakes of others.

          Man Fashion Road Walk Smile Happy  - SabirArts / Pixabay


          16- Make sure your beliefs are accurate when you are young and re-form new ones based on awareness and truth.

          17- Know the truth about successful people and try to know what is the thing that was behind the achievements.

          18- Face the problems and the owner of fear because there is no solution except through them, confronting them, and taking measures for the answer.

          19-Be human and merciful with your abilities, be patient with yourself and your dreams and make an effort without impossible expectations.

          20-If you need to ask for help from close people or Life Coaches to overcome this crisis.


          There is no perfect human being who does not have flaws or did not make mistakes, and there is no human being who has all the talents, and there is no one without skills. But all in the matter is that there is someone who loves himself and knows his advantages well and continues to develop and show them and continues to learn from his mistakes and reduce his shortcomings to live a happy and successful life.

          In any case,

          Woman Seniorin Pensioner Grandma  - silviarita / Pixabay

          Destroy the box of self-hatred and, be yourself and love yourself, sincere love, because you deserve love, appreciation, trust, and total tolerance for yourself before others because that makes you a good person capable of knowing the truth of yourself, and your strengths to offer miracles for this world.


          If you feel unable to forgive yourself for the mistakes of the past and want to get rid of this crisis and love yourself, contact us we can work together.

          Call now


          The Power of Self-Confidence, Dr. Ibrahim Al-Feki

          How to change your life in 30 days Dr. Ibrahim El-Feki

          “Don’t Be Too Nice” by Duke Robenson



          Sources and references

              • ^ games, n. (1973). Competence and Adjustment in Childhood Schizophrenia Patients and at-Risk Adults, pp. 163-204 in Dean, SR (Editor), Available here.Schizophrenia: Top Ten Prize Lectures. New York: MSS Information Corp.

              • جارميز ص ، ن. ستريتمان ، س. (1974). “الأطفال المعرضون للخطر: البحث عن أسلاف الفصام. الجزء 1. النماذج المفاهيمية وأساليب البحث. ” نشرة الفصام . 1 (8): 14-90. أنهم : 10.1093 / ثقب الشوري / البث 4619494 .

              • ^ Werner, E.; (1971).Kawai Children: A Longitudinal Study from Prenatal to Age Ten. Honolulu: University of Hawaii Press, ISBN978-0870228609.

              • ^ Werner, E.; (1989).Vulnerable but indomitable: a longitudinal study of resilient children and youth. New York: McGraw-Hill, ISBN0937431036

            ^ Masten, A.; Better, K.M.; Garmezi, N.; (1990).Resilience and development: Contributions from a study of children who overcome adversity.Outcome and Psychopathology.2 (4): 425-444

            You May Also Like…

            Behaviors to protect your marriage before it is too late.

            Marriage stands as the most crucial relationship of all.  As we know, In maintaining a happy marriage, it's important to acknowledge that spouses experience ups and downs, which may result from a lack of awareness or misunderstandings. To prevent the situation...

            What are the Signs of an Unhealthy Marital Relationship?

            It is necessary to realize that marriage, despite its importance in our lives for stability and building a family, is a relationship that, like all relationships, faces challenges and disagreements. However, the constant presence of these disagreements between spouses...

            Discover the signs of self-sabotage and how to overcome it

            Self-sabotage is a term that means that the person himself is the reason for his lack of development and the obstacle to his happiness through some of his behaviors and feelings that lead to obstructing any progress in his life. Self-sabotage is a typical behavior...

            How to build mental resilience and psychological resilience?

            Psychological and mental resilience is a degree of psychological maturity that makes you respond to life's challenges appropriately to deal with them. It includes realizing how and when to act according to your surroundings and abilities in every life condition....

            Stressful Relationship and Treatment Strategy

            Whether your marriage has been going on for years or months, the stressful relationship is a common thing, and this means that the spark of glow that was at the beginning of the relationship has gone out, that something is missing and interest in your partner has...

            What it means to live a good life and 50 inspirational quotes about it

            My most important goal as a life coach is to help clients know and determine the best ways to live reasonably and dignifiedly in a way that suits their abilities, environment, and community. The meaning of the good life This phrase is not so much about living a long...

            Why should you choose an ICF Certified Life Coach?

            Do you feel stuck in your life and need a guide to achieve your goals? Do you want to develop and balance your personal and professional skills? An experience with an ICF-certified life coach may be the answer you're looking for. ICF certified trainers possess a high...

            3 Basics You Need To Know About Marital Counseling

            When may we need marital counseling? Marriage may seem ideal for everyone who desires a stable life and future family success. But the challenges lie in defining and achieving common goals for both parties and building a solid marriage bond, and this does not mean...

            10 ways to avoid Hoarding and all its messiness

            Did you walk into someone's house and find it stacked up to the point of a messy hoarding? Is your closet full of old clothes you haven't worn in years and can't give up? Has your home, office, or garage turned into narrow hallways that meander through piles of messy...

            10 ways to resist the fear of the future.

              Do you have a Fear of the Future? Does this concern go beyond average and logical limits? Has your fear of the future turned into an unjustified terror? Do you worry about the future in general without being associated with a specific future event? Is your fear...