10 overprotective parents Mistakes & 20 Ways to Overcome Them

الرقابة الأبوية على الأطفال overprotective parent
shaharsherifcoaching.

Written by Shahar Sherif

Life coach and marital relationship consultant. I studied coaching in one of the best American INLP centers, and I am currently lecturing in the same center for Arabic-speaking students.

5 October، 2021

Are you an overprotective parent?

We, as parents, love our children with innate and unconditional love, so we sacrifice all our precious things and are always careful to make them live a better life than ours from our point of view.

The parent,s love for their kids is combined with responsibility, care, kindness, guidance, and discipline.

So the upbringing of children is one of the most challenging tasks ever because the success of this task does not depend on parents only but many other factors, including the innate, hereditary, or acquired from the parents or the environment and the surrounding community.

Still, whatever the impact  These factors affect children, so it cannot deny that parents’ care for their children is the primary influence on them.

 So,

Some parents are overprotective parents of their children’s lives, believing that it is best to protect them from any dangers or difficulties or keep them away from suffering or any experiences that may hurt them.

Caricature Painting Fantasy  - 愚木混株CDD20 / Pixabay

Unfortunately, this overprotective makes the children miserable and unsuccessful and even sometimes puts their lives at risk.

Therefore, we will present some behaviors of overprotective parents to avoid them.

The behavior of overprotective parents:

1-They exaggerate the protection of their children, which sometimes leads to a lack of respect for their privacy.

2- Preventing their children from taking adventures, experiments, or acquiring new experiences in their lives.

3- Not allowing their children to be independent.

4- Lack of confidence in their children’s choices.

5- Constant criticism using degrading phrases when raising them.

6- Pushing children to feel ashamed.

Cartoon Drawing Manga Comic  - 愚木混株CDD20 / Pixabay

7- Limiting the abilities of children and introducing them to subservience and surrender.

8- They always shout in the faces of their children.

9- Obsession with grades of achievement without paying attention to the efforts made by their children.

10- Helicopter parents who interfere in every small and big thing in the lives of their children.

As a result of this, overprotection the children feel negative feelings about themselves and their parents. These feelings result in several negative behaviors that affect their personalities and their relationships with others.

Some behaviors of children of overprotective parents

1-They miss feeling happy and grateful to their parents.

Shame Criticism Self Criticism  - johnhain / Pixabay

2- The inability to excel in studies compared to their peers.

3- Psychological and emotional immaturity.

4- They are less prevalent in school communities among their peers.

5- The presence of deep psychological wounds that prevent them from maturing in the future.

6- Feeling depressed and lacking in self-esteem.

7-They lack leadership skills and become followers of others.

8- Feeling angry and dissatisfied with their parents.

9-Acting recklessly, foolishly, and perhaps dangerously to prove their freedom.

10- To stay away psychologically from their parents.

Some Some of us may have experienced overprotection, even to a small extent, during adolescence or childhood, so we know all too well how annoying that control was to us.

So,

We will clarify some of these negative effects.

Effects of overprotective parent on their adults kids:

1-  The inability to enjoy romantic or romantic relationships.

2- The failure to furnish a stable married life.

Question Mark Think Question  - Peggy_Marco / Pixabay

3- Inability to make a decision.

4- Lack of leadership and management skills in functional work.

  1. Unable to accept others’ new ideas.

6- Some tend to be addictive.

7- Some people care about others’ evaluation of them without being aware of their internal value.

So,

Because we are the first world for them, and they know themselves and the world through us.

Our main goal should be to help them learn new experiences and support them in their desires without pampering or being overprotective to be successful on the emotional, social, and academic levels.

These are some of the behaviors that help our children succeed in life:

1-  Mutual respect between all family members, giving the child his privacy and respecting his limits.

  1. Allow them to make their own decisions appropriate to their age and experience.

Hands Friendly Punch Baby  - Victoria_Borodinova / Pixabay

3- Giving them responsibilities so that they are not always dependable.

4- Expand children’s perceptions and ways of thinking to be ready for a successful future.

5- Be the ideal teacher for your children and the role model for them; always be far-sighted and do not think with the mentality of the current situation, and do not look for your children for quick solutions.

6-Accept your children’s mistakes because failure teaches more than success, then help them learn from it.

7- Clarify the consequences of wrong actions and their results without losing the tone of friendliness.

8- Be keen to communicate socially with your children to feel support and family bonding.

9- Be realistic and merciful with them if they make a mistake. Make your punishment for them appropriate to the kind of mistake.

Family People Wedding Nyc  - suessmoments / Pixabay

10- Balance their upbringing, be strict or lenient, and give your children love, affection, and positive feelings.

11-Maintaining a healthy environment to communicate away from stress and pressures. and base your relationship with your children on love and respect, not on fear.

12-Give your children part of the household responsibilities to feel responsible and work as a team.

13-Make sure to separate their expenses from you and the performance of their household responsibilities.

14- Positive motivation and raising the level of expectations of their successes.

15- Teach your children to deal with anger, manage conflicts, and delay desires so that they can face life’s challenges.

16- Teach your children the skill of relationships individuality and teach them to empathize with and help others.

17-Knowing what they like or dislike and the strengths and weaknesses of your children.

18-Clarify the consequences of wrong actions and their results without losing the tone of friendliness with them.

19- Be fair and just among your children so that they respect you and do not differentiate between them in treatment so that they do not hate and hold grudges against themselves or others.

Family Love Parenthood Vacation  - chillla70 / Pixabay

20-Give your children their realistic chance of failure to learn from it and encourage them to stick to goals, even if they are difficult.

 In the end:

We must be aware that parents’ job is to reduce the risks children may be exposed to, not prevent or erase them.

All of us, even overprotective parents, will not live forever for them, so do not give too much advice or orders, but let them choose their scientific and practical lives without interference from you. Follow them from afar. If they need your help, continue to support and encourage your little heroes.

Your children may resemble you in features, but they are different from you and are not an extension because they burn for their time and world.

Therefore, they cannot carry out your orders or follow your steps, but they can benefit from your love and experiences. Therefore, the best way to put them on solid ground is to give them the freedom and independence to face any challenges. And succeed in their lives.

Mother S Day Mother S Day Love Mom  - Elf-Moondance / Pixabay

Do not let your overprotective control of your children be a constraint or obstacle that prevents them from succeeding or being happy.

And do not let your overprotective make your love for your children a one-sided love.

If negative control over you in the past affects your present life?

Or you are the one of controlling parents, and you want the best life for your children?

Contact us to work together.

Call us now

Reference: INLP center

 

Sources and references

      • ^ games, n. (1973). Competence and Adjustment in Childhood Schizophrenia Patients and at-Risk Adults, pp. 163-204 in Dean, SR (Editor), Available here.Schizophrenia: Top Ten Prize Lectures. New York: MSS Information Corp.

      • جارميز ص ، ن. ستريتمان ، س. (1974). “الأطفال المعرضون للخطر: البحث عن أسلاف الفصام. الجزء 1. النماذج المفاهيمية وأساليب البحث. ” نشرة الفصام . 1 (8): 14-90. أنهم : 10.1093 / ثقب الشوري / 1.8.14.0. البث 4619494 .

      • ^ Werner, E.; (1971).Kawai Children: A Longitudinal Study from Prenatal to Age Ten. Honolulu: University of Hawaii Press, ISBN978-0870228609.

      • ^ Werner, E.; (1989).Vulnerable but indomitable: a longitudinal study of resilient children and youth. New York: McGraw-Hill, ISBN0937431036

    ^ Masten, A.; Better, K.M.; Garmezi, N.; (1990).Resilience and development: Contributions from a study of children who overcome adversity.Outcome and Psychopathology.2 (4): 425-444

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